BoZenna Rae Growing Paynes

Mommies! We have to budget. So I have decided that Mondays are for BUDGETING! Like seriously? Let's get excited about this. I know you already know this. I've known this for years and I'm ashamed to say it hasn't always been my forte. I mean, we have to spend so much doggone time doing everything else, who the heck has time to budget- and budget meticulously at that??? Well you have to make time, mama- because if you don't, you'll pay for it later. The best thing about a budget spreadsheet is you can make adjustments. You can see a visual of where and when those adjustments will effect you. I know it's hard to stick to a budget when raising kids- there are so many unpredictable expenses. However, if you write it all out, you can project where you may need to do something extra to make up for extra money spent. I remember 12 years ago, looking at my father's laptop and he had the most DETAILED spreadsheet I had ever seen in my life. Like ya'

Sometimes we just need encouragement. This weekend was a heavy one. Between threats from my child's father to PURPOSELY pay his child support late, the burden of paying rent, and making sure TWO children were ready for the first day of school tomorrow...I was 110% single mama Bo this weekend.  Friday evening I had a hair appointment to fulfill (even though I am still retired) but there were too many bills to turn a hair appointment down. Then on top of ALL of that my child's father wanted to be difficult. While doing my client's hair, her mother was getting ready to go out. Cheerful and upbeat, she went on and on about how on Friday nights, her routine is to go to this food truck park and enjoy some friends she has.  I told her a little bit about what was going on with my child's father and she gave me advice. She gave me some stories from her own experience, she is a single mother as well. "You have to live your life as if you're doing it alone

I am so mad right now. Livid. My youngest will be two this month and I still have not been able to maintain a structured visitation plan with her other parent. For the most part, I know he does better than most. But still. Still I'm exhausted. Still I'm frustrated. Still I feel like I don't get enough help. I think a majority of the frustration comes from knowing that the decisions he's making are based off of what he wants to do and not off of what he NEEDS to do. And for that, I am pissed. What does he do? He's decided to drive trucks. He has a WHOLE Bachelor's degree more than I have. "What do you want me to do, sit behind a desk?" He said. "This is me." "YOU go out the window when you have a kid." I replied. But nope. He wants to drive trucks. And not for a company. For his self. That means he makes his own schedule. When I first heard that's what he was doing, I was cool with it. But the more it goes on- the less approv