This weekend was a heavy one. Between threats from my child's father to PURPOSELY pay his child support late, the burden of paying rent, and making sure TWO children were ready for the first day of school tomorrow...I was 110% single mama Bo this weekend.
Friday evening I had a hair appointment to fulfill (even though I am still retired) but there were too many bills to turn a hair appointment down. Then on top of ALL of that my child's father wanted to be difficult. While doing my client's hair, her mother was getting ready to go out. Cheerful and upbeat, she went on and on about how on Friday nights, her routine is to go to this food truck park and enjoy some friends she has.
I told her a little bit about what was going on with my child's father and she gave me advice. She gave me some stories from her own experience, she is a single mother as well. "You have to live your life as if you're doing it alone." I've told myself that so many times. Nevertheless, I was ALL the way in my feelings. Tired of the same conversations. And just plain tired, literally.
The two kids that I did have with me this weekend were with my godmother while I was doing hair. All I could think was... "I've worked a full week, I'm working AFTER work right now, and even then I have to go pick up two children." The mother of my client walked out the door happily, "I wish you could come with me!" I was so annoyed. Not with her. But with the situation. As mother's we often feel guilty to feel like we need a break. But truth is, we do. Pastors take sabbaticals. Presidents go on vacation. Teachers get their summers paid while they are off. But moms...that's a year round, full time job.
So I decided to take my break.
After the hair appointment I texted my Godmom and asked if she'd watch the girls. She said yes. I called up a friend of mine that ALWAYS asks me to go out (and of course I can't ever go). We met at a nice rooftop restaurant and had an AMAZING night.
The next day I was plagued with figuring out how I was going to check all the boxes on my list- without having enough checks- if you know what I mean. What I did know, was that my kids were going to come first. So I started my day with just that, getting the things that I KNEW they needed. And worrying about the rest later. I saw a Back 2 School display at Publix by my job for the past two weeks and noticed they actually had some good deals. So I went to the Publix my house, praying they had the same setup- and they did.
In the store, it was the usual experience: trying to get Logan to sit down. (She climbs out the front of the cart to the back...and usually gets stuck). We had already been grocery shopping and driving all over, so she was growing tired. While I was ringing up our items, I asked Dixon to watch Logan. Logan took off running and Dixon ran after her. When she tried to pick Logan up, Logan fell out. In the MIDDLE OF THE GROCERY STORE FLOOR. I walked over there calmly, picked Logan up on my shoulder, put her in the cart (by now she's screaming). I saw people looking, but I'm used to it.
Once we were back in the car (Logan was still screaming), I calmly put our things in and strapped myself into the driver seat. Out the corner of my eye, I saw a Caucasian lady appear at my window. "I'm not buying what you're selling," I thought to myself. I rolled the window down with the complete intent to shut down whatever she was offering and then she flashed a Victoria's Secret $50 Gift Card. "Hello, my- my friend gave me this gift card. And honestly I'm never going to use it. You look like a hard working, Mom. I want you to have it." I couldn't believe it. "WOW! Thank you so much. I really appreciate it," was all I could say. "I just know as moms we do so much and sometimes we just need something for ourselves," she continued. I fought back tears. Once she walked away, Dixon stared at me curiously.
"What is it, Mom?"
"She gave me a gift card." I answered, eyes now watering. "I think I'm going to cry."
"Don't cry, Mom! It's okay!" She patted me on the back. I lost it.
"I just love you guys so much and I really am doing the best that I can." I looked at her thinking we were going to continue our heart to heart moment. But instead. she was already looking at her phone- earphones in. I felt silly. I wiped my tears and brushed the emotion off.
Today I was able to redeem that gift card- as you can see above. When driving home I felt so good. I just felt like God was telling me, "You're doing alright." I noticed that on the back of the card, it did show her name and the friend's name that must have gifted her the card. At the top it said "Happy Birthday!" God then reminded me how on my birthday, I gave a $30 tip at Waffle House for my breakfast. $30 for 30 years. I was going to post it on Facebook that day but I didn't. I felt like it wasn't right to boast. Though I'm sharing it now, I find it appropriate in my testimony. I sowed into someone on my birthday- and now someone else was doing the same for me.
Though it was impossible for that lady to know the details of my weekend- she came RIGHT on time. The most amazing thing is that, it wasn't cash. As a mom, when somebody gifts you cash, you immediately think of things to get your kids or things that you need around the house. But this gift couldn't have been spent on my children. That such a guilt free resolution. I am still on cloud 9. It's really the simple things. All in all the best feeling is making it through your journey and picking up little gold coins along the way. I hope that this inspires you all to not to let the rough days keep you down. And in those rough moments, the best thing you can do is GIVE. You never know who or why someone needs it or when it will come back to you.
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