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My seven year old is a hater




Have a girl they said. It'll be fun they said. Don't get me wrong, my oldest child is my pride and joy. She's every mom's dream. A complete replica of me. Problem or nah? PROBLEM. Not only does she look like me. She acts like me. But I'm 29. And she's 27- I mean 7. If you follow me on Facebook  you are all too familiar with my Dixon's servings of opinion drenched in hot sauce. Especially when it comes to my physical appearance. I mean- given I have been a little on the adventurous side with my hair, and my right arm is covered in tattoos. I may not have the ideal mom image. But I'm not the type of mom that walks around with rollers in her head either. I mean I think I'm cute. Most of the time. I do have a 7 month old baby and a 3 year old though. And with that, some days you're lucky if I brushed my teeth! Just kidding, I brush my teeth every day. But I'm not going to act like there aren't days where I run out the door to drop my son off at school and think- oh crap, can I talk with my mouth open at the daycare today? Don't judge me. I drop him off and go right back home. Either way, if I am slipping, Dixon catches me EVERY TIME. Hair out of place? Dixon caught it. Dressed bummy? Dixon caught it. So then when I am an tip top, looking like a shnack, you'd think she'd be happy right? Nah. "You always have to wear MAKEUP!" or "I thought you were going to CURL your hair, not just straighten it." Like dang somebody break out the panel of judges, I'm getting sent home this week. Where is Tyra?! Is it normal for my child to be so critical of me? I would imagine. I mean my son tells me I'm beautiful almost every day. NO matter WHAT I look like. So I'm like *snap snap* Dixon get with the program! I've started a new program for her. She is money motivated like her mommy. So every time she says something negative or haterish, she has to give me a dime. Yes a dime. They're easier to take away, and easier to give. If she doesn't have a dime, she has to work for it. She also gets a dime when she stops herself from being a hater. How do I know? She tells me. Like the other day at Publix went like this.

Mom, when you picked that out at the grocery store I was about to say 'eww', I'm not eating that' but I stopped and thought about it before I said it.

That's great, Dixon. You get a dime. 

Now I have three dimes. 

Yes the cashier looked at us and laughed. But I don't care. Me telling Dixon to give me a dime in public is so  much easier than fussing at her. She already knows what's up. And I keep my peace. She seems to care a whole lot more about that than my fussing anyway. The greatest part is, she loses the dimes so quickly I usually don't end up having to give her anything! lol I mean, we just started on her hater transformation journey so I'm sure she'll eventually start earning something. But her room was clean yesterday and we didn't have nearly as many runins with her hater representative... #issaworkinprogress

Comments

  1. casanovas_girlMarch 30, 2018 at 1:56 PM

    Bahahahaha I repeat Dixon is a savage!

    ReplyDelete
  2. EndeyaMarch 31, 2018 at 6:45 PM

    She is hilarious!! I love the dime idea! I’ll have to remember that...Jetson seems to have a petty streak already 😩

    ReplyDelete

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