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Anger Management


I had every reason to completely LOSE it tonight. My insurance company tried to hike up my insurance policy $125 with NO notification due to a speeding ticket and I was livid. "We emailed you  ma'am," they said. I checked my email two months back and I had NOTHING other than regular bills. I knew nothing about it. But here it was- imposing on my life- forcing me to problem solve when all I wanted to do was nothing. This may sound melodramatic to some but this is the life of a single working mom of three. I work 8 hours currently training new hires. That takes a lot of attention, time, patience, and focus. It's really no different than being a mom. Then when I get off, I'm a FULL blown mom. Managing four lives, primarily on my own.

I fussed on the phone with Progressive while picking up two kids from one location- and one kid from another. "Are you okay," Dixon asked with concern. Then on top of ALL of that, I needed groceries. "We could just get fast food", I thought to myself. But I knew that was such a waste. Because if I didn't get groceries today, this day would repeat itself tomorrow. I've found as a mom that now is always better than later. It's such an unpredictable life. Curve balls shooting directly at you from every direction- all the time. And I am expected to handle all of them!

If I haven't learned anything else, I have learned that it's better to think long term when making any decision- which is really hard to do when there is soooooo much going on while making these decisions. Logan was on full FUSS mode tonight. I think she may be constipated. She whined and screamed and moaned and groaned. It was very trying. But somehow there was such a peace that I had inside. "Hush girl...." I said to her when I realize she was kind of stretching it. She may have been uncomfortable, yes, but she was definitely being an unnecessary brat.


Yet through it all, I felt good. I wasn't really stressed. Slightly annoyed, but calm. Traffic was atrocious. I was trying to make it to the Aldi on Roswell. But that wasn't going to happen. I was on a two lane street and about 34 cars back. It was already 7:11. My kids go to sleep at 8. "Let's just go home," Dixon said. "Don't you have food at your house?"

"No, we don't. Unless you want to eat noodles." I answered.
"No, you have to go to the grocery store." She replied. I glared at her. "I mean, please, let's go to the store."

I agreed though. I wanted it out of the way. I have a very busy weekend doing 'back to school' hair next week, and I was in LA last weekend. This weekend I want to CHILL. Which means, groceries today. And we did. We thugged it out. We turned our car OUT of traffic, found another Aldi, and made it home. I made pizza, hot dogs, and broccoli. I lit my candles. I put on my Pandora station. The kids did their night routine. And life was okay.

Logan is currently sleeping. Harper is sleeping. Dixon is sleeping. And I am NOT stressed out. Not in the least bit. But normally, I would've been.

This morning I prayed to God. The Holy Spirit had been tugging on my heart. I heard it, I know it. That light, subtle thought that you know didn't originate inside of you. And I surrendered this morning. I prayed to God about everything- but most of all I thanked him for PEACE. I don't know if this peace that I have is from the vacation that I just came back from. Or, that fact that my family is all back together for the first time in 2 weeks (all 3 of my children are sleeping in their beds simultaneously for the first time in 2 weeks). Either way, I know it's nothing but God. And I ACCEPT IT. Every piece of it.

I didn't raise my voice tonight.
I didn't feel anger.
I didn't feel guilt for losing control.


Complete and utter peace.

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