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Gymnast Mom


I don’t even know where ta START! All week I’ve been trying to find a blog topic, find a vlog topic, and to just have a moment to work! I need to post my next giveaway. I need to complete the last one, shoot! (Fredericka I got you girl) But I also have to *clears throat* go grocery shopping, prepare hair orders, get Dixon together for her field trip, wash my own hair, do laundry (clothes are overrated), feed my kids so they won’t die, and keep Harper alive in general. And I work 10 hours at night three nights a week. At night. Like while y’all are sleeping. A ninja is TIRED. I’d love to gracefully dance through life. All in all I don’t like to complain. I don’t want help. I don’t even want my circumstances to change. (Except the circumstance of my bank account... I accept cash, good checks, and cash app transfers thank you) I just like to have my ducks in a row and quacking on time you feel me? Times like this I remind myself the lord doesn’t give you more than you can bear. But right about now you can call me Smokey the bear cuz I’m BEARING. And hopefully preventing the fire in my own life. And then on top of that I try to have a little social life. Two weekends ago I had a ball. Unexpectedly too. And I posted some of that online. Well an ex brought it up. Saying “you could’ve been working but you were out eating lamb chops.” Forget the part where I have three kids every day all day unless I’m working. Forget the part where I cannot do anything without lugging a team with me. I don’t get to take a day? A few hours at best? I didn’t expect to have my daughter last night— yet there I was at the movies struggling to get her to sleep. Luckily nobody complains about breastfeeding in the dark. I found myself being very frustrated. And I couldn’t justify why. Like is it right to feel like you shouldn’t have to do this right now? It’s your baby. But he gets to do what he wants when he wants. At the end of the day the responsibility always falls back on you. Inconvenient or not. Then I realized I was tired. So I went to sleep in the movies with no regret. And I went home praying she would sleep there as well. All I could think is if she doesn’t sleep tonight I’m going to cry. But she did go to sleep. Eventually. And so did I. And here I am. Awake and happy. She’s eating breakfast and I’m getting ready for church. Though I felt like I was on the cusp of a mental breakdown- I tumbled through it. And that’s okay. As long as you get back on your feet. Life requires balance. Just keep striving through. 

Signed, 

The gymnast Mom

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