BoZenna Rae Growing Paynes

The picture to the left was taken this morning. It was Sunday morning and I had already decided that we were not going to make church. However, I streamed it live as I made breakfast- pancakes. I turned to see what Harper was watching on TV. "Harper why are you watching the Spanish channel?" I asked. "Because I want to learn Spanish." He answered matter-of-factually. I shrugged and continued what I was doing. Shortly thereafter, Logan came strolling into the living room. "That's Jesus!" Harper told Logan. Up to that point I honestly didn't know what cartoon he was watching. I turned around for confirmation, and there He was, talking to a group of people on the television screen. "JESUS!" Logan repeated excitedly. It wasn't long before Dixon joined the group. A few minutes later, I turned around again from cooking to check on them. Satan was on the screen. "That's the devil." I advised. "Is he still alive?...

I had every reason to completely LOSE it tonight. My insurance company tried to hike up my insurance policy $125 with NO notification due to a speeding ticket and I was livid. "We emailed you  ma'am," they said. I checked my email two months back and I had NOTHING other than regular bills. I knew nothing about it. But here it was- imposing on my life- forcing me to problem solve when all I wanted to do was nothing. This may sound melodramatic to some but this is the life of a single working mom of three. I work 8 hours currently training new hires. That takes a lot of attention, time, patience, and focus. It's really no different than being a mom. Then when I get off, I'm a FULL blown mom. Managing four lives, primarily on my own. I fussed on the phone with Progressive while picking up two kids from one location- and one kid from another. "Are you okay," Dixon asked with concern. Then on top of ALL of that, I needed groceries. "We could just ge...

Whew chile. It's been a while and honestly I wouldn't even blog half the stuff that's happened over this past year. Just know the title of this blog is TRANSITIONS. Since I last blogged I've lived three different places - including where we are now. Thankfully, all of those places were real homes. All I can say is GOD IS GOOD. It all started with me getting a phone call about free daycare. FREE. For my youngest two children. This wasn't CAPS, this was a grant from the daycare that Dixon USED to go to. My godmom had already told me about the grant months ago, but it wasn't available at the time. But here they were, bringing free childcare to me. You can't tell me that wasn't God. With that I was able to go back to work comfortably. Without having to figure out where my kids would go. And just like that we started getting back into our normal routine. Once I was back at work and my kids were on the grant for daycare, I went through a time of self re...

This picture above? I wouldn’t even post it because I hated they way my body looked. Thick legs, no hips, no waist. I feel like I wear weight weird. I’ve always wanted to be thicker but apparently I don’t gain weight the way I thought I would in my head. I looked curvier smaller! “What’s your old body?” Harper asked me as a browsed through old pictures. A little bit after having him I went super hard exercising and not just dieting- but completely changing my life. I juiced. I smoothied. I did two a days. My goal was to look like Joie Chavis. Instead I got really skinny. Nevertheless, I didn’t look like I had two kids. And I could wear whatever I wanted.  This blog isn’t for the people that are going to get mad at a “skinny girl” for complaining. I am well aware that I don’t look as bad as I could. But where I am now is the most difficult place I have ever been. I can’t fit most of my clothes. And I have to worry about my stomach protruding in fitted shirts and dresses. And I know ...

Being a parent can be overwhelming for anybody. Single parents, married parents, working parents, stay at home parents... it’s a big job. Being the parent that has primary custody is huge! Now I’m not going to lie, when I had my daughter it was a lot easier than I expected to be a mom. I’ve always had a good support from my family- even when the non custodial parent wasn’t supportive. Now that I have my third child, I’ve been able to see pattern across the board about how “the other parent” responds ( and doesn’t respond ) to coparenting. So I’ve devised a list of dos and donts for the non custodial parents to have a better shot at successful coparenting relationships. #1 Do not make her feel guilty for being overwhelmed. If your child’s mother (or father) mentions that she is stressed, isn’t getting sleep, and just expresses that he or she feels overwhelmed- try to be empathetic. You don’t say things like “you’ll be alright” or “you make it seem like the child is a burden”. I’m s...

I jumped out my skin thinking my little one was falling out of the bed. Problem was, my little one wasn’t in the bed with me. My mom, who was visiting us for a couple of days, had her in the living room. I worked all night last night, and on one hour of sleep, was getting ready to do it again. “How are you going to work on one hour of sleep?” My mom asked. “I didn’t have a chance to sleep.” I told her. If Harper wasn’t waking me up about how to fix Netflix, Logan was crawling all over my face and fussing about these two front teeth. I would eventually just tap into the energy of the unknown and press on with my day. By 9 PM I am drinking some sort of liquid poison in the form of an energy drink. “You drink those everyday?” Someone asked me. “No...” I replied. Which was true. “Good. I saw some guy cleaning the oil off his motor with one of those. Imagine what it does to your insides.” He said. Imagine. They burn off the stress of the day. They burn off the sleepiness and tap into some B...

He had just been in my room ten minutes prior asking me to open the straw of his juice box.  I heard a “BOOM!” I knew it was bad so I prepared myself mentally while walking down the hallway holding Logan. Last time I felt like this I came around the corner to Harper’s head being stuck in a chair. As I continued walking down the hall I could smell the evidence. It was fruity. I walked around the corner and.... Seriously. He started crying. Like HE was the victim. I couldn’t even comprehend. I said, “what were you doing?” He said, “nothing.” I thought for a moment he tried to pour his self a cup of kool aid. Then I remembered there was no kool aid in the fridge. I said, “you were trying to make kool aid?” “I JUST WANTED SOME!” He cried. I walked away to put Logan down. “You’re about to get me a new shirt?” He said with confidence- no longer crying. If you’re wondering what I did he got three pops on the bottom with a belt and sent to bed. I knew he thought I was going to hurt him... ...