BoZenna Rae Growing Paynes

Mommies! We have to budget. So I have decided that Mondays are for BUDGETING! Like seriously? Let's get excited about this. I know you already know this. I've known this for years and I'm ashamed to say it hasn't always been my forte. I mean, we have to spend so much doggone time doing everything else, who the heck has time to budget- and budget meticulously at that??? Well you have to make time, mama- because if you don't, you'll pay for it later. The best thing about a budget spreadsheet is you can make adjustments. You can see a visual of where and when those adjustments will effect you. I know it's hard to stick to a budget when raising kids- there are so many unpredictable expenses. However, if you write it all out, you can project where you may need to do something extra to make up for extra money spent. I remember 12 years ago, looking at my father's laptop and he had the most DETAILED spreadsheet I had ever seen in my life. Like ya...

Sometimes we just need encouragement. This weekend was a heavy one. Between threats from my child's father to PURPOSELY pay his child support late, the burden of paying rent, and making sure TWO children were ready for the first day of school tomorrow...I was 110% single mama Bo this weekend.  Friday evening I had a hair appointment to fulfill (even though I am still retired) but there were too many bills to turn a hair appointment down. Then on top of ALL of that my child's father wanted to be difficult. While doing my client's hair, her mother was getting ready to go out. Cheerful and upbeat, she went on and on about how on Friday nights, her routine is to go to this food truck park and enjoy some friends she has.  I told her a little bit about what was going on with my child's father and she gave me advice. She gave me some stories from her own experience, she is a single mother as well. "You have to live your life as if you're doing it alone...

I am so mad right now. Livid. My youngest will be two this month and I still have not been able to maintain a structured visitation plan with her other parent. For the most part, I know he does better than most. But still. Still I'm exhausted. Still I'm frustrated. Still I feel like I don't get enough help. I think a majority of the frustration comes from knowing that the decisions he's making are based off of what he wants to do and not off of what he NEEDS to do. And for that, I am pissed. What does he do? He's decided to drive trucks. He has a WHOLE Bachelor's degree more than I have. "What do you want me to do, sit behind a desk?" He said. "This is me." "YOU go out the window when you have a kid." I replied. But nope. He wants to drive trucks. And not for a company. For his self. That means he makes his own schedule. When I first heard that's what he was doing, I was cool with it. But the more it goes on- the less approv...

The picture to the left was taken this morning. It was Sunday morning and I had already decided that we were not going to make church. However, I streamed it live as I made breakfast- pancakes. I turned to see what Harper was watching on TV. "Harper why are you watching the Spanish channel?" I asked. "Because I want to learn Spanish." He answered matter-of-factually. I shrugged and continued what I was doing. Shortly thereafter, Logan came strolling into the living room. "That's Jesus!" Harper told Logan. Up to that point I honestly didn't know what cartoon he was watching. I turned around for confirmation, and there He was, talking to a group of people on the television screen. "JESUS!" Logan repeated excitedly. It wasn't long before Dixon joined the group. A few minutes later, I turned around again from cooking to check on them. Satan was on the screen. "That's the devil." I advised. "Is he still alive?...

I had every reason to completely LOSE it tonight. My insurance company tried to hike up my insurance policy $125 with NO notification due to a speeding ticket and I was livid. "We emailed you  ma'am," they said. I checked my email two months back and I had NOTHING other than regular bills. I knew nothing about it. But here it was- imposing on my life- forcing me to problem solve when all I wanted to do was nothing. This may sound melodramatic to some but this is the life of a single working mom of three. I work 8 hours currently training new hires. That takes a lot of attention, time, patience, and focus. It's really no different than being a mom. Then when I get off, I'm a FULL blown mom. Managing four lives, primarily on my own. I fussed on the phone with Progressive while picking up two kids from one location- and one kid from another. "Are you okay," Dixon asked with concern. Then on top of ALL of that, I needed groceries. "We could just ge...

Whew chile. It's been a while and honestly I wouldn't even blog half the stuff that's happened over this past year. Just know the title of this blog is TRANSITIONS. Since I last blogged I've lived three different places - including where we are now. Thankfully, all of those places were real homes. All I can say is GOD IS GOOD. It all started with me getting a phone call about free daycare. FREE. For my youngest two children. This wasn't CAPS, this was a grant from the daycare that Dixon USED to go to. My godmom had already told me about the grant months ago, but it wasn't available at the time. But here they were, bringing free childcare to me. You can't tell me that wasn't God. With that I was able to go back to work comfortably. Without having to figure out where my kids would go. And just like that we started getting back into our normal routine. Once I was back at work and my kids were on the grant for daycare, I went through a time of self re...

This picture above? I wouldn’t even post it because I hated they way my body looked. Thick legs, no hips, no waist. I feel like I wear weight weird. I’ve always wanted to be thicker but apparently I don’t gain weight the way I thought I would in my head. I looked curvier smaller! “What’s your old body?” Harper asked me as a browsed through old pictures. A little bit after having him I went super hard exercising and not just dieting- but completely changing my life. I juiced. I smoothied. I did two a days. My goal was to look like Joie Chavis. Instead I got really skinny. Nevertheless, I didn’t look like I had two kids. And I could wear whatever I wanted.  This blog isn’t for the people that are going to get mad at a “skinny girl” for complaining. I am well aware that I don’t look as bad as I could. But where I am now is the most difficult place I have ever been. I can’t fit most of my clothes. And I have to worry about my stomach protruding in fitted shirts and dresses. And I know ...

Being a parent can be overwhelming for anybody. Single parents, married parents, working parents, stay at home parents... it’s a big job. Being the parent that has primary custody is huge! Now I’m not going to lie, when I had my daughter it was a lot easier than I expected to be a mom. I’ve always had a good support from my family- even when the non custodial parent wasn’t supportive. Now that I have my third child, I’ve been able to see pattern across the board about how “the other parent” responds ( and doesn’t respond ) to coparenting. So I’ve devised a list of dos and donts for the non custodial parents to have a better shot at successful coparenting relationships. #1 Do not make her feel guilty for being overwhelmed. If your child’s mother (or father) mentions that she is stressed, isn’t getting sleep, and just expresses that he or she feels overwhelmed- try to be empathetic. You don’t say things like “you’ll be alright” or “you make it seem like the child is a burden”. I’m s...

I jumped out my skin thinking my little one was falling out of the bed. Problem was, my little one wasn’t in the bed with me. My mom, who was visiting us for a couple of days, had her in the living room. I worked all night last night, and on one hour of sleep, was getting ready to do it again. “How are you going to work on one hour of sleep?” My mom asked. “I didn’t have a chance to sleep.” I told her. If Harper wasn’t waking me up about how to fix Netflix, Logan was crawling all over my face and fussing about these two front teeth. I would eventually just tap into the energy of the unknown and press on with my day. By 9 PM I am drinking some sort of liquid poison in the form of an energy drink. “You drink those everyday?” Someone asked me. “No...” I replied. Which was true. “Good. I saw some guy cleaning the oil off his motor with one of those. Imagine what it does to your insides.” He said. Imagine. They burn off the stress of the day. They burn off the sleepiness and tap into some B...

He had just been in my room ten minutes prior asking me to open the straw of his juice box.  I heard a “BOOM!” I knew it was bad so I prepared myself mentally while walking down the hallway holding Logan. Last time I felt like this I came around the corner to Harper’s head being stuck in a chair. As I continued walking down the hall I could smell the evidence. It was fruity. I walked around the corner and.... Seriously. He started crying. Like HE was the victim. I couldn’t even comprehend. I said, “what were you doing?” He said, “nothing.” I thought for a moment he tried to pour his self a cup of kool aid. Then I remembered there was no kool aid in the fridge. I said, “you were trying to make kool aid?” “I JUST WANTED SOME!” He cried. I walked away to put Logan down. “You’re about to get me a new shirt?” He said with confidence- no longer crying. If you’re wondering what I did he got three pops on the bottom with a belt and sent to bed. I knew he thought I was going to hurt him... ...

I don’t even know where ta START! All week I’ve been trying to find a blog topic, find a vlog topic, and to just have a moment to work! I need to post my next giveaway. I need to complete the last one, shoot! (Fredericka I got you girl) But I also have to *clears throat* go grocery shopping, prepare hair orders, get Dixon together for her field trip, wash my own hair, do laundry (clothes are overrated), feed my kids so they won’t die, and keep Harper alive in general. And I work 10 hours at night three nights a week. At night. Like while y’all are sleeping. A ninja is TIRED. I’d love to gracefully dance through life. All in all I don’t like to complain. I don’t want help. I don’t even want my circumstances to change. (Except the circumstance of my bank account... I accept cash, good checks, and cash app transfers thank you) I just like to have my ducks in a row and quacking on time you feel me? Times like this I remind myself the lord doesn’t give you more than you can bear. But right ...

It’s 83 degrees outside without a cloud in sight. I went to pick up Dixon, like I do every day. I was there for about 15 minutes before I grew suspicious. Usually the bus is there by 3:30. There were no other parents outside either. Growing nervous, I called the school. “What’s your daughter’s bus number?” “I don’t know her bus number,” I replied shamefully. “Well if it was bus 11- they just left.” “If I don’t know her bus number that’s not really telling me anything.” I said aggravated. “What’s your child’s name?” “Dixon ________.” I replied. “They just left- they’ll be 30 minutes late.” “Great, thank you.” I mumbled.   I decided to take the clan to the park. We grabbed some ice cream from Chick-fil-a where I had to threaten Harper a couple of times that he wouldn’t get any. The glorious angel of a cashier gave me a thousand napkins and wet wipes when he saw the kids. He needs a raise.  At the park, I parked the car where I could see the kids. They ran off to play and...

For the record, I am writing this blog after being completely and utterly inspired by Beyoncé's Coachella's performance. Why? She's a mom of 3. Let that sink in. Say less. And yes it is still playing in the background. For the third time. Let's start. So...today I want to share some nuggets with you all. What I have learned as a mom! I've been a mom for 7 years. So at this point, on any job, 7 years pretty much makes you a vet. Not to mention I have THREE kids. So I'd like to think that I have some wisdom. Every time my grandmother tells me something I already know, I say "I know, I have three kids." lol Being a mom is tough. And sometimes we have unrealistic expectations. And that literally never changes. Like everything else it's a continuous process. #1 You will lose your temper      Yes you. You will lose your temper. Kids are a bunch of uncontrollable tiny humans. We literally cannot control them. You can teach them. You can guide them. Yo...

I am a part of a breastfeeding group on Facebook and being the proactive person I am... I asked about this... before it happened. Logan is a very calm and quiet baby. So when she started turning into Tina Turnup these past two weeks, I knew something was going on. More like something growing in. Using my best mommy instincts, I did an oral exam- and sure enough... there they were. Two little white shadows in her swollen gums. Teef. Now Logan has already been gumming my nipples for the past 7 months. And it’s not documented anywhere but I think baby gums are made of vibranium. I’ve read commentary in our group about how you’re supposed to pull the baby closer to you when they do that. But I’m like bruh are you serious? It’s taking everything in me to control my reflexes and not throw this child across the room. Especially when she catches me off guard. I know that makes you supermons probably cringe. But you’re just going to have to judge me today. We are at the point now where the teet...

Have a girl they said. It'll be fun they said. Don't get me wrong, my oldest child is my pride and joy. She's every mom's dream. A complete replica of me. Problem or nah? PROBLEM. Not only does she look like me. She acts like me. But I'm 29. And she's 27- I mean 7. If you follow me on Facebook  you are all too familiar with my Dixon's servings of opinion drenched in hot sauce. Especially when it comes to my physical appearance. I mean- given I have been a little on the adventurous side with my hair, and my right arm is covered in tattoos. I may not have the ideal mom image. But I'm not the type of mom that walks around with rollers in her head either. I mean I think I'm cute. Most of the time. I do have a 7 month old baby and a 3 year old though. And with that, some days you're lucky if I brushed my teeth! Just kidding, I brush my teeth every day. But I'm not going to act like there aren't days where I run out the door to drop my son off...

The girls are gone. The boy is sleep. Yet here I am. Starting a blog at 2 AM and listening to Sabrina Claudio. Mombie . I actually fell asleep around 9 PM. But between the multiple phone calls from Logan's dad- actually let's just start right there. WHY do dad's act like they cannot function without us? "When does she take her medicine?" "Where did you get this formula?" Like suh. The GROCERY STORE! "Okay but which one?" I understand he's a first time dad. But when I had my third child, honest to goodness I adopted a fourth. We are not together. Yet here he was, Facetiming me at 11 PM to have me walk him through giving Logli her medicine. Does she normally fight like this?           "No." I said. And I think I may have heard Logan whisper, "help. me." Mom of three, manager of six. Which makes me a Momager. I have to manage the kids, and each one of their dads. People bash moms who have multiple children by multipl...